Counseling for the kids

The kids had their first counseling session last night.  I won't go into detail about every session that the kids have, but I thought it might be helpful for me to give an update on how they're doing now that I have some better insight.

According to the counselor, Tanner is actually doing as well as he seems to be doing.  He's always seemed fine to me, but I just figured that I was missing all of the hidden signs of inner turmoil that I should be noticing.  But he's in good shape.  Life hasn't changed for him all that much.  I won't be taking him to any more sessions.

As you might all guess, the situation is more difficult with Lindsey.  I worry about that girl.  She and Stace have always had a challenging relationship.  (I'm not revealing any secrets that you all didn't already know.)  Lindsey has a lot of resentment, and she aims it at me, which turns out to be a good thing, as I'll explain in a moment.  She frequently tells me that she's mad because Stace moved out instead of me.  My response is to acknowledge what she's saying and then to tickle her; in fact, when she said that to me before bed last night and I didn't tickle her right away, she was disappointed.

While meeting alone with the counselor, Lindsey made a list of her thoughts.  I don't know most of what was on the list, which is fine, but the first thing she wrote was that she hates me.  I know that looks alarming in print, but it's really not as dramatic as it seems.  The counselor said it's actually a good sign that she says things like that to me.  She needs to express her resentment somehow, and she feels safe saying things like that to me.  She trusts me and knows I won't get upset.  She later decided to soften her language and instead wrote a note saying that she doesn't like me as much as she loves Stace.  Fair enough.  That's just her way of expressing how much she misses her mom, and those feelings go back much further than just when Stace moved out of the house.  Anyway, needless to say, there will be more sessions for Lindsey.  There's a lot of turmoil in that blond head.

Just to put you at ease, the comments I mentioned above don't reflect our relationship in general.  Most of the time, she's very happy with me, and we like to be around each other.  I know she doesn't hate me, and I understand why she sometimes resents the fact that I'm there instead of Stace.

So that's the status of things.  I won't generally be providing reports on Lindsey's counseling sessions, but I figured everyone would like to know how the kids are doing.

One other news item:  I think we've finally figured out housing plans.  The plan is to stay in our new house in the Farmington Ward and school district through the 2013-14 school year to give the kids some stability right now, and then we'll move back into our old house in the Lakeville Ward before the next school year begins.  So, Gretchen, you've got one year to prepare the Lakeville Ward before another one of those "special project" families moves into the ward.