If you notice the time stamp in this entry, it's almost 3:00 a.m. in Minnesota. It's insane for me to be up this late, but I've been on a roll for several hours with getting things done while the kids are tucked safely in bed, so I'll keep going.
I've been waiting to write this entry until I had adequate time to do it justice, but I keep not having time, so I'll just have to get the news out there: Michelle and I are engaged. We've got one little logistical issue yet to resolve, but the plan is for us to be married in the Brigham City temple on March 8. That's the start of spring break for the kids, and they need to be a significant part of this.
I already told the beginning of the Michelle story in an earlier post. The continuation is this: Michelle was out here last week. We saw much of the Twin Cities as well as other parts of Minnesota. Michelle also started to get to know the kids. That all went well. Lindsey continues to be a little concerned about what this means for her relationship with Stace, but we keep reassuring her that everything will be fine.
Michelle will be moving to Minnesota because she thinks the weather will be much better here than in Utah. (Ha! I really fooled her there, didn't I? It sure is a good thing that she doesn't know about this blog.) She's ready to live in a state where not every freeway billboard talks about missionaries or temple wedding dresses.
Michelle is terrible at math. You can tell this because the equation of our lives doesn't balance at all even though she thinks it does. Here's what she gets: a divorced guy with two kids, MS, twenty degrees below zero, no mountains, a population that thinks that the word "bag" contains a long "a" sound, and a church building that's not within walking distance. Here's what I get: Michelle. That hardly seems like a fair deal for her, does it?
Anyway, we have a million logistical issues to work out, and I need to learn to chew with my mouth closed again and to put the toilet lid down when I'm done because I won't be a bachelor anymore. (There are always drawbacks, aren't there?) We'll get there, though.
I'm still going to try to compose a blog entry about the engagement that reads like a Shakespearean sonnet, but it won't happen tonight. It's time for me to go to bed now.
Sunday, October 20, 2013
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Lindsey working it out
To no one's surprise, Lindsey is still trying to make some sense of the world and to figure out where the ground is. She's been excited for Michelle to come out this week. They've been texting back and forth, and Lindsey asks me to send pictures of her to Michelle from time to time. But there's still some underlying nervousness.
We were at swimming lessons yesterday. Lindsey asked me to take a picture of her in the water and to send it to Michelle, so I did. On the way home, though, Lindsey suddenly blurted out that she doesn't want Michelle to visit us this week. Rule Number One of being a parent in a situation like mine is to listen rather than to overreact, so I probed a little deeper. I gently told her that I didn't really think she felt that way, and I asked her why she was saying that. Not surprisingly, she said that Michelle was coming here to replace Mom. I repeated the things that I've told her before and asked her why she felt that way. Her reply was something like, "You told me that she was coming here to replace Mom." I reminded her that I've never said any such thing. She then said, "Well, that's what Tanner told me." I told her that I knew that Tanner hadn't said anything like that, either. I again reminded her that she'd still be able to spend time with Mom and that no one was trying to change that or to replace Mom. That was good enough for Lindsey, because she then told me that she was hungry and wondered when we could eat lunch. That was that. A little while later, she asked me to send a picture to Michelle of a cucumber that we had grown in our garden.
That episode was just her nine-year-old way of making sure that I really meant what I'd told her before. Her world became much less stable six months ago, and she needed reassurance that no one is trying to take away one of her parents. She'll be just fine.
We were at swimming lessons yesterday. Lindsey asked me to take a picture of her in the water and to send it to Michelle, so I did. On the way home, though, Lindsey suddenly blurted out that she doesn't want Michelle to visit us this week. Rule Number One of being a parent in a situation like mine is to listen rather than to overreact, so I probed a little deeper. I gently told her that I didn't really think she felt that way, and I asked her why she was saying that. Not surprisingly, she said that Michelle was coming here to replace Mom. I repeated the things that I've told her before and asked her why she felt that way. Her reply was something like, "You told me that she was coming here to replace Mom." I reminded her that I've never said any such thing. She then said, "Well, that's what Tanner told me." I told her that I knew that Tanner hadn't said anything like that, either. I again reminded her that she'd still be able to spend time with Mom and that no one was trying to change that or to replace Mom. That was good enough for Lindsey, because she then told me that she was hungry and wondered when we could eat lunch. That was that. A little while later, she asked me to send a picture to Michelle of a cucumber that we had grown in our garden.
That episode was just her nine-year-old way of making sure that I really meant what I'd told her before. Her world became much less stable six months ago, and she needed reassurance that no one is trying to take away one of her parents. She'll be just fine.
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