Links to sanity

So, as we all know, bad things sometimes happen in life.  We've had our share:  tubal pregnancy #1, tubal pregnancy #2, a failed adoption, infertility, an MS diagnosis, the divorce, the Bulls beating the Jazz in six games in the 1998 NBA Championships, you get the picture.  I can imagine worse, and people have been through worse:  the unexpected death of a spouse or a child's drug addiction, for example.  Thankfully, I've never had to live through anything like that.

I find myself gravitating toward particular anchors when times get tough.  When I was diagnosed with MS (I promise that I don't intend to turn this into a blog about life with MS), I found myself relying on a somewhat odd source of strength:  David Letterman.  Yes, David Letterman.  The diagnosis threw our lives into complete chaos.  We didn't know what would happen with me, whether I'd be disabled, whether I'd be able to work, and things like that.  That was twenty years ago, and so far, the only really bad thing that's happened is that I'm no longer able to go on long hikes with the Boy Scouts, which has been a tough blow, but I'm getting over it.  But at the time, it was pretty traumatic.  I found myself needing something completely stable and reliable, and Letterman's show filled that need.  He was on every night at exactly the same time, and I knew exactly what to expect.  For a while there, that show was the most important part of my day.

That was a long time ago; it's probably been more than fifteen years since I watched more than about two minutes of Letterman's show.  I moved past it.  But in the current situation, I'm again finding myself drawn to particular anchors.  They are:

1.  The newspaper.  I've always been a fan of reading the paper, but it seems to have become a vital component of my life right now.  It's there every day, even on holidays.  It always has the same sections, and I read them in the same order every day.  It doesn't demand anything of me or ask me any questions.  It doesn't wake me up at night (unlike a certain nine-year-old who seems to have developed a fondness for waking me up at 3 a.m.).  I've found that I absolutely must finish the newspaper every day.

2.  Semi-regular exercise.  I don't have time to exercise every day anymore with the recent changes to the routine, but I do try to slip it in at least a couple of times a week.  I get on the cross-trainer downstairs and listen to NPR.  I don't have to make any decisions or tackle any tough issues for a half hour.  I just move my arms and legs back and forth and listen to whatever is on public radio at the moment.

3.  Help from friends and ward members.  Okay, this one isn't quite the same thing as the rest of the things on the list, but help from people has still been important.  Not everyone knows about our situation yet (see the grapevine post from two days ago), but people who do know have been helpful.  Stace needs a couple of days away right now, so our friends up the street are going to take care of Lindsey tonight while Tanner and I go to our General Conference meeting.  That's just one small example.  I don't need meals brought in or anything like that, and the kids and I do pretty well for ourselves, but I appreciate the help that people have given me.

4.  The blog.  Yeah, I know that sounds weird.  The idea to resurrect the blog came a couple of weeks ago when I was feeling particularly bleak, and it's helped immensely.  The focus is mostly on the kids, not the divorce, but I still find it therapeutic even if no one reads it.  Someone asked me yesterday how many people read the blog.  I know I have at least one faithful reader (hi, Mom!), but I have no idea beyond that.  I don't track the numbers.  It's just a good outlet for me.

So there you have it.  One unfortunate side effect of the time I spend reading the paper, exercising, and writing the blog is that I have less time for things I really should be doing, like straightening up the house or building that fifth bedroom in the basement, but those things will come as life settles into more of a routine. I figure that for now, staying sane is good enough.