Four weeks in

It's been four weeks now since we went public with the change in our family status, so I thought I'd give an update.  The general report is that the kids and I are doing just fine.  The three of us have a great time together.  So far, no one has starved to death, lost a body part, or run away from home.  I'd call that a smashing success.  Here are some of the specifics:

From outward appearances, Tanner is completely unfazed.  He was used to Stace having difficulty, and he and I have always done a lot of things together, so life hasn't changed much for him.  I've asked him a few times how he's doing.  He says he's doing fine, but it's tough to get a fourteen-year-old to tell you his innermost thoughts and fears.  He really does seem fine, though.

Lindsey was more affected.  We had some tough and poignant moments in the first few days, but that hasn't happened lately.  She still tells me she wishes that I had moved out instead of Mom, but she doesn't really seem to mean it.  That's just her way of saying that she misses Mom.  She'll probably be traumatized by my failure to know how to do her hair or to coordinate her clothes.  She'll just have to get over it.

Our bishop had the idea that I should take the kids to counseling.  That's probably a good idea.  They seem okay, but he's seen too many instances of adults who were deeply affected by things that happened to them when they were children.  I think I'll take each of them to at least one session.  The kids are NOT thrilled, of course.  Lindsey told me that she's "already over it."  I'm still going to take them.  Tanner, especially, might have some thoughts that he'd only express to someone who's not involved in the situation.

I'm doing fine.  I have to make sure that I never lie down on anything at any time other than bedtime, lest I inadvertently fall asleep, but I'm managing.  During the two months that Stace was gone while we were in Switzerland, the phrase I used with myself was "ruthlessly prioritize," and that phrase still applies.  My priorities are:  1) make sure the kids get food; 2) make sure they get their homework done; 3) make sure they have something clean to wear; 4) make sure they get to wherever they need to be at any given moment; 5) make sure they clean up after themselves and do their daily and weekly cleaning assignments around the house; and 6) make sure we manage to do some scripture study at least most days.  After I take care of all of those things, there's not much time for anything else, like researching my family history, putting the house together from the move, or writing the epic novel that I've always had burning inside of me, but that's okay.  I knew exactly what I was signing up for, and I don't regret it.  Lindsey will graduate from high school in June of 2022, so I'll get a break before too long.

Stace is here on Tuesday and Thursday mornings to get Lindsey out the door and in the evenings when the kids come home.  She makes dinner.  Eventually, we need to get her in a situation where she can have visitation with the kids at her own place, but we're taking it slowly.

To sum up, life is busy but good.  I love spending time with the kids.  It's sort of us against the world, although that's not really true since we're actually getting a lot of help from the world.  We're going to make it.