Adoption story

There's a working parents blog where I work.  Since May is adoption month, they wanted some adoption stories.  Here's mine.  It's probably too long, and even worse, it doesn't really have a point, but here it is:

Adoption isn't something most people experience firsthand, so people often ask me questions about how we got our kids and what the adoption experience is like.  One of the first things I tell people is that every adoption is its own story; it's hard to draw parallels from one adoption to another.  I'll share a couple of thoughts about my family's experience.  I'll be interested to hear from others.

I have two kids, a seventeen-year-old boy and a twelve-year-old girl.  My son, Tanner, was born in Kansas City, and my daughter, Lindsey, was born in Wichita, so we call ourselves an I-35 family.  Whenever we wanted another kid, we just drove south on I-35 until we found one.

One question I get is whether the kids know they're adopted and, if so, how we told them.  As is the case generally with adoptions these days, they've always known.  It's just part of the story of their lives.  It took them a little while to figure out exactly what it means to be adopted and how that's different from most families.  One day, when Tanner was about four years old, he suddenly piped up from the back seat of the car and said, "Dad, I can't remember--was I born or was I adopted?"

(Tanner just wandered by the computer and read what I've written so far.  He said that I need to tell everyone that it's okay to ask adopted kids about their adoption.  He says that when people find out he's adopted, they're first very surprised, and then they worry that they've blundered into a sensitive topic.  He wants everyone to relax.)

You'd think that having kids five and a half years apart would minimize the usual annoying sibling stuff, but no.  On one occasion three or four years ago, the kids were fighting about something.  Tanner yelled to Lindsey, "I'm so glad we're not related by blood!"  Lindsey's repose was, "Me, too!"  And then they resolved whatever their problem was and life went on as normal.

Lindsey just told me that I should talk about open versus closed adoptions.  That's too long to cover thoroughly in a blog entry, but I'll just say that we're in frequent contact with both of Lindsey's birth parents and their families.  Lindsey's biological grandmother, who is her birth father's mother, often sends her gifts and calls to see how she's doing.  We've gotten together with them several times.  That works well for everyone.

We're not in contact with Tanner's birth parents.  We met his birth father once, outside the courthouse when he was placed with us.  We don't have any information about him other than that meeting.  We met his birth mother once before Tanner was born and again at the courthouse.  His birth mother and I exchanged occasional emails until about six years ago, but I haven't heard anything from her since then.  I send her an email and a picture every year or so.  The email doesn't bounce back, but I don't ever get a response.  I wonder if she's getting them.  When she placed Tanner, she wrote him a letter explaining her decision and also enclosed some pictures of her and Tanner's birth father.  I read the letter to him several years ago.  I came across the letter and the pictures recently when I was doing some organizing.  I asked Tanner if he wanted to see them.  He shrugged and said no, he'd already seen them and didn't need to see them again.   I imagine there will come a time when he'll be more curious.

I'll close with a poem that Lindsey got for her birthday from one her birth mother's kids, Kailey, who is Lindsey's biological half-sister.  They've never met.  She's about nine years old. (Lindsey's birth mother, Michelle, stabilized her life after she placed Lindsey, got married, and has had five more kids.  "I was made for this!" she said to me after she'd had her third or fourth baby.)

Here's Kailey's message to Lindsey (spelling and punctuation as in original):

                Hi!!! I want to tell you a birthday song I made up for you.

                Happy birthday to you, you live in Minnesota l wonder about you , and you turned 12!!

                Happy birthday Half sis!

It was the first time it had occurred to Lindsey that she has a bunch of biological half-siblings out there somewhere.  Maybe we'll all get together someday and see who else in the bunch also has Lindsey's wide-set eyes, which she definitely got from Michelle.

I write, therefore I am

So, I went quiet there for a while.  Not quite sure why.  My approach to the blog has been that I write when I feel like it and don't write when I don't feel like it, and I guess I stopped feeling it.  From the time I started the blog in Switzerland, my blog entries usually wrote themselves unbidden in my head long before I sat down to actually type them out, but I don't have blog entries floating around in my head anymore.  The blog was really good for me when I was a single parent.  I think it made me feel less isolated.  Maybe the urge will come back again one of these days.  (And if it does, look out world!)

Here's a quick update:  Michelle and I went to Switzerland and Ireland last summer.  It was a great trip.  In fact, Michelle is going to start up her own blog, Woodn't Miss a Thing.  It's at www.woodntmissit.blogspot.com.  She's going to fill everyone in on our trip.  Maybe she and I will have competing blogs.  The blog with the most views at the end of the month wins.

As for the kids:  Lindsey's thyroid numbers continue to bounce around like a pogo stick.  She goes in for labs every few weeks, and we usually have to adjust her medication each time.  She started out with Graves' disease (hyper) for a couple of years, then suddenly reversed course and went to Hashimoto's (hypo), and now she's showing some signs of going back over to Graves'.  She's now in middle school.  She's doing well with piano and clarinet.  She plays clarinet in the sixth-grade band and piano in the jazz band.  She'll be a Beehive in about six weeks.  Yikes.

Tanner is a junior.  His plans for life are, shall we say, still under development.  (You can lead a horse to water but . . . .)  He'll get there.  He's getting some good experience and making decent money working at Famous Dave's, a rib joint.

It looks like we're heading back east this summer.  We're thinking we'll visit Niagara Falls and Palmyra to see some church history sites, and then work our way up toward Maine.  We'll spend a few days in Maine and then finish the trip in Boston.  Michelle has seen Boston, but I've never been there.  I've always wanted to go.

So there you have it.  Go check out Michelle's blog if you want to know the latest.  Talk to you again in a couple of years, or a couple of days, or a couple of hours, or whenever the mood to write strikes me again.

So, here we are

Well, we're now in Hawaii for our honeymoon (or is it honeymoon #2?).  Jet lag is still no fun.

It's been a long time since I've reported on a trip or posted any pictures, but maybe it's time for me to unleash my inner trip reporter again.  Here's what happens in the age of smart phones:  it didn't even occur to me to bring my camera.  I guess I'll just make do with my phone.  Anyway, aloha from Kauai!

Still alive

Things went quiet there again for a while, didn't they?  So, a few things have happened:  Michelle and I got married, Michelle moved to Minnesota along with her car and her furniture and a bunch of decorative pillows, Michelle set up the house, Michelle planted some stuff, Michelle bonded with Lindsey, Michelle hung out in Duluth with us . . . . hey, it kind of sounds like Michelle is the one with all of the interesting things going on, doesn't it?  It almost seems like Michelle should be writing the blog since my life has gotten so boring.

That's it!  We'll have Michelle take over the blog!  It's a done deal.  From now on, Michelle will be doing the blogging.  I'll reserve the right to chime in once in a while, but from now on, Michelle's in charge.  Enjoy reading Michelle's blog!

The latest developments

Not much blogging lately, but I figured I'd update everyone on a few things.

First, Lindsey's thyroid.  The thyroid medication she's on has had wonderful effects on her.  She's much more able to sit still and to concentrate, she's much less squirmy, and many of her other symptoms have gotten better.  Unfortunately, a blood draw yesterday showed us that although the medication is helping her symptoms, the underlying disease isn't getting any better.  It's looking more and more likely that they'll have to ablate (kill) her thyroid before too long.

Second, our wedding.  We're now officially set for March 8 in the Logan Temple.  We had to move it from Brigham City because that temple is closed during that time.  We'll still have a wedding dinner back down in Brigham City after we're done in Logan.  And then Michelle will pack up her life and move it all to Minnesota.  Yikes!

Third, Michelle.  She's here for Thanksgiving, and things are going well with our family.  Tanner is now comfortable being just as ornery with Michelle as he is with me, which is just his way of accepting her into the family.  Very heartwarming.  Lindsey is responding very well to having a female role model who gives her lots of positive attention.  She's counting the days until Michelle comes back for Christmas, and Michelle hasn't even left yet.

Fourth, Tanner.  He's now started swimming.  He's complaining mightily about how hard it is, but that's because he hasn't been in the water for several months and he's horribly out of shape.  He'll get there.  It should be a fun swim season.

So, there you have it!  I'm still busy, but Michelle has made more good meals in the last five days than I've made in the last eight months of single parenthood, so that's been great.  Back to dinner from a box in a few days.  Sigh . . . .

The latest

Well, I haven't said much lately.  Life's been busy, and I now have another outlet for all of my amazingly profound thoughts.  (Michelle is still doing a good job of pretending that everything I have to say is incredibly interesting.  She'll crack eventually.)

So, the latest:  Unless Michelle has changed her mind since I last spoke with her ninety minutes ago, we're still on for March 8.  The wedding will be very simple, if you define "simple" as having five showers.  That's what happens when you grow up in Utah and then suddenly tell everyone you're moving away in less than four months.

Also, I now own two guinea pigs.  Technically, the kids own them, but I'm sure they're pretty much mine now that the novelty has worn off.  They actually haven't been too bad so far.

Stace and Jody are also now engaged, with a wedding to take place here in Minnesota sometime in the next few weeks, so the kids have had a lot thrown at them in a relatively short time.  They seem to be handling it well, but I keep an eye on them, especially on Lindsey.  She doesn't express concerns about Michelle anymore, though, and is excited for Michelle to come visit us again over Thanksgiving and Christmas.

There you have it.  Life is busy, but we're all doing fine.  The adventure continues.

Well, there's a surprise

If you notice the time stamp in this entry, it's almost 3:00 a.m. in Minnesota.  It's insane for me to be up this late, but I've been on a roll for several hours with getting things done while the kids are tucked safely in bed, so I'll keep going.

I've been waiting to write this entry until I had adequate time to do it justice, but I keep not having time, so I'll just have to get the news out there:  Michelle and I are engaged.  We've got one little logistical issue yet to resolve, but the plan is for us to be married in the Brigham City temple on March 8.  That's the start of spring break for the kids, and they need to be a significant part of this.

I already told the beginning of the Michelle story in an earlier post.  The continuation is this:  Michelle was out here last week.  We saw much of the Twin Cities as well as other parts of Minnesota.  Michelle also started to get to know the kids.  That all went well.  Lindsey continues to be a little concerned about what this means for her relationship with Stace, but we keep reassuring her that everything will be fine.

Michelle will be moving to Minnesota because she thinks the weather will be much better here than in Utah.  (Ha!  I really fooled her there, didn't I?  It sure is a good thing that she doesn't know about this blog.)  She's ready to live in a state where not every freeway billboard talks about missionaries or temple wedding dresses.

Michelle is terrible at math.  You can tell this because the equation of our lives doesn't balance at all even though she thinks it does.  Here's what she gets:  a divorced guy with two kids, MS, twenty degrees below zero, no mountains, a population that thinks that the word "bag" contains a long "a" sound, and a church building that's not within walking distance.  Here's what I get:  Michelle.  That hardly seems like a fair deal for her, does it?

Anyway, we have a million logistical issues to work out, and I need to learn to chew with my mouth closed again and to put the toilet lid down when I'm done because I won't be a bachelor anymore.  (There are always drawbacks, aren't there?)  We'll get there, though.

I'm still going to try to compose a blog entry about the engagement that reads like a Shakespearean sonnet, but it won't happen tonight.  It's time for me to go to bed now.

Lindsey working it out

To no one's surprise, Lindsey is still trying to make some sense of the world and to figure out where the ground is.  She's been excited for Michelle to come out this week.  They've been texting back and forth, and Lindsey asks me to send pictures of her to Michelle from time to time.  But there's still some underlying nervousness.

We were at swimming lessons yesterday.  Lindsey asked me to take a picture of her in the water and to send it to Michelle, so I did.  On the way home, though, Lindsey suddenly blurted out that she doesn't want Michelle to visit us this week.  Rule Number One of being a parent in a situation like mine is to listen rather than to overreact, so I probed a little deeper.  I gently told her that I didn't really think she felt that way, and I asked her why she was saying that.  Not surprisingly, she said that Michelle was coming here to replace Mom.  I repeated the things that I've told her before and asked her why she felt that way.  Her reply was something like, "You told me that she was coming here to replace Mom."  I reminded her that I've never said any such thing.  She then said, "Well, that's what Tanner told me."  I told her that I knew that Tanner hadn't said anything like that, either.  I again reminded her that she'd still be able to spend time with Mom and that no one was trying to change that or to replace Mom.  That was good enough for Lindsey, because she then told me that she was hungry and wondered when we could eat lunch.  That was that.  A little while later, she asked me to send a picture to Michelle of a cucumber that we had grown in our garden.

That episode was just her nine-year-old way of making sure that I really meant what I'd told her before.  Her world became much less stable six months ago, and she needed reassurance that no one is trying to take away one of her parents.  She'll be just fine.

Heaven help us all

Tanner is starting up driver's ed next month.  This afternoon, we spent some time at the high school parking lot letting him drive around.  Both the car and I survived somehow.  Actually, he did just fine.  And thus begins a new, scary phase of my life.  I don't think I'm going to make it.  He was in seventh heaven.

In other news, Lindsey goes off the beta blockers starting tomorrow.  Her pulse has been just under a hundred most nights, so let's hope it stays there.  It needs to stay under a hundred for us to keep her off of the beta blockers.

The status of things

Both of my readers might be wondering about the status of various things that are going on, so here are some quick updates:

1.  I'm now weaning Lindsey off of the beta blockers.  I've cut the dose in half, and her pulse has stayed around 100, which is good.  I'll give it another couple of days and then eliminate them completely, monitoring her pulse to make sure it doesn't spike again.

2.  Tanner has no residual effects from his dog bite.  There's no sign of an infection, he was current on his tetanus shot, and the dog was current on its rabies shot, so we're done worrying about it.

3.  I had another funny singles moment the other day.  When the Animal Control officer wanted to come to the house to interview Tanner, I told her that I was at work.  She asked if my wife was at home.  I told her that I was a single dad.  That wasn't the answer she expected, and she stammered out an apology.  I told her that it was no big deal, which was true.  It's just interesting to note how we all expect the world to work a certain way and then we're thrown off when it doesn't in a particular instance.  It's the same thing with having kids who are adopted.  People don't expect to hear that, so when they find out, they're not quite sure how to react.

4.  Michelle has made great progress in correctly pronouncing the names of Twin Cities suburbs.

5.  Tanner and I are somehow still surviving early-morning seminary.

Well, that was unexpected

I didn't wake up this morning thinking that I'd have the police at the house, that I'd be wondering about rabies shots, and that I'd find myself in the ER at St. Paul Children's Hospital, but that's how things ended up.

Tanner's been sick the past couple of days.  He walked home from school yesterday morning.  As he was walking, a dog ran toward him, got tangled up in his legs, knocked him down, and bit him on the wrist.  It wasn't a bad bite, but it punctured the skin.  Tanner knew which house was the dog's.

Today, I took him early to get a strep test.  (It was negative.)  He was complaining about how much his wrist hurt.  I got thinking that if we needed to have him looked at, our insurance company would want to go after the dog's owners, so I thought I'd better file a police report.  I called the city.  The animal control officer wanted to interview Tanner but needed an adult there, so I came home for the afternoon with plans to work at home.  The officer spoke with Tanner and suggested that we have the bite checked out just to be sure.  I called the pediatrician's office, and they said that Tanner should go to a pediatric ER, not just a general ER.  The closest one is up in St. Paul.

So Tanner and I drove all the way up there.  No ER is fun, but we were in and out in three hours, which I considered to be not too awful. There's no sign of infection, but the doctor was worried about the possbility of rabies.  She also wanted to x-ray his wrist, which he'd hurt when the dog knocked him down.  The x-rays were negative.  The only unresolved issue was the possibility of rabies.  Fortunately, the police were able to confirm tonight that the dog is current on its rabies shots, so Tanner won't have to get them.  He's quite happy about that.

Anyway, that wasn't the day that I expected.

Ummmm, oops

Okay, still not getting the parenting thing right.  As I've mentioned before, Lindsey is not to be trusted.  She lies.  We've been working on it, and now that I think about it, I think she's actually gotten better lately.  We may be making some progress.  However, once you earn a label, it's hard to shake.

I came home yesterday to find that my closet light was on and that some things had been moved around.  My master bathroom door was also wide open, which I wouldn't have done.  It was nothing serious, but there's really no reason for the kids to be in my bathroom, and I didn't like the light being left on.

Reaching the logical conclusion, I went out to the back yard to ask Lindsey why she'd been playing around in my bathroom and closet.  After all, there would have been no reason for Tanner to be in there, right?  Lindsey vigorously denied having done anything.  Knowing that she was lying, I got after her for lying, told her that I never knew when to believe her, and asked her to please stop lying to me about things.  She held her ground, but she always holds her ground even when it's crystal clear that she's been lying.

Finally, just on the one-in-a-thousand chance that I was wrong, I asked Tanner if he'd been in my bathroom.  He said that oh, yes, he'd been in there taking some pictures for his Swiss friend Flavio.  (Not sure what's so interesting about my bathroom and closet, but I'll leave that aside for now.)  I then had to face the music and apologize to Lindsey for falsely accusing her.  Of course, any kid in that situation knows that she's got the parent right where she wants him, so she milked it for a while.  She sulked the way only a falsely-accused nine-year-old can sulk.  She forgave me in the end, though, and didn't even immediately demand a pet (which she's getting anyway).

Dang.  I probably need to set up another counseling session to undo that damage, right?

Lindsey update

It's probably time for an update on Lindsey's thyroid.

Her pulse in the evening has been right around 100, which is just where it should be for a nine-year-old.  That's the beta blockers doing their thing.  She had her blood drawn on Friday to see if the thyroid medication has kicked in yet.  Her thyroid levels have fallen to just above the normal range now, so that's looking much better.  We may be able to take her off of the beta blockers soon.  We'll learn more from the endocrinologist this week.

She's not displaying any side effects from the thyroid medication.  On the other hand, I can't necessarily say that her symptoms have gotten any better, but I expect that to take time.  Overall, two weeks into this experience, things seem to be going about as well as could be expected.

Tanner and I have now survived nine days of getting up at 4:50 a.m. for seminary.  By my count, we have 651 days of seminary left until he's done with high school.  I then get a one-year break, and then I start the whole thing up again with Lindsey.  So I only have to do this for 1,311 more days to get both kids through seminary.  That's doable, right?

Pronunciating Minnesota suburbs

First off, let me say that it's a good thing that Michelle doesn't know about the blog or I'd be in real trouble for the entry I'm about to write.  Since I'm totally safe, though, here goes.

I'll just say it outright:  Michelle has a Utah accent.  She denies this, and it's a pretty touchy subject for her, so don't tell her that I said anything about it.  When you talk with her, just pretend you can understand everything she's saying even if some of the words are unclear or strange-sounding.

(True story, although I shouldn't have to specify that because everything I say on the blog is absolutely true:  When I first met Michelle, she told me she'd been to "Wells."  I couldn't figure out what she was talking about until I finally realized that she meant "Wales."  I'm not making that up.  It rilly happened.)

To help her blend in a little more when she comes here next month, I've been coaching her on the pronunciation of some of the Twin Cities suburbs.  I've given her these five names to practice:  Wayzata, Edina, Mahtomedi, New Prague, and Vadnais Heights.  These names are the Minnesota equivalents of Hurricane, Utah, which, as you probably know, is not pronounced the way you would normally pronounce the word "hurricane."  Same with Tremonton and Tooele.

I just gave Michelle a quiz, and she was zero for five, so she's definitely got some prep work to do before she actually gets here.  I'm hoping Ryan and Jenny can give her some coaching before she gets here.  It has to be subtle, though.  Don't let her know that you're coaching her.  Just casually slip in some comments like, "Michelle, which would you like to visit while you're in the Twin Cities:  Wayzata, Edina, or Mahtomedi?" or, "Michelle, did you know that Vadnais Heights is famous for [whatever the heck Vadnais Heights is famous for]?"  Things like that.  We'll have her talking like a native Minnesotan in no time, dontcha know?

Lindsey's tightrope

Lots going on with Lindsey's physical and emotional health these days.

First, the beta blockers have brought her pulse down to a reasonable level.  I measure it every day, and it's been around 100, which is about where it should be for a nine-year-old.  Later this week, we'll test her thyroid levels again to see if the thyroid medication is kicking in.  If it is, we can wean her off of the beta blockers.  We'll keep an eye on her for any side effects from the medication.

Emotionally, Lindsey still has a lot going on.  Michelle will be coming out to Minnesota for visits in October and again over Thanksgiving.  I believe Michelle's exact words were, "I want to experience Minnesota in all of its glory, so I'm really, really hoping for at least two feet of snow and subzero temperatures the whole time I'm there."  Okay, maybe those weren't her exact words, but I'm fairly confident that's how she feels.

Now you can imagine that this is a little tricky for Lindsey.  She struggles with both Stace and me seeing other people.  (Stace is seeing a man named Jody, who was a friend of ours going back to when we first moved to the southern part of the Twin Cities back in 1995.  The kids already know him because he'd been at the house a couple of times after we came back from Switzerland.)

My relationship with Michelle is trickier for Lindsey than Stace's relationship with Jody for a couple of reasons.  First, the kids live with me, so having someone new around the house, even just for a visit, has a big effect on their world.  Second, as Michelle and I have both been expecting, Lindsey is worried that Michelle's presence will affect Lindsey's relationship with Stace.  Lindsey has never been completely secure in her relationship with her mom.  She told me the other night that if Michelle is around, she'll see even less of Stace than she does now.  I keep reassuring Lindsey that Stace and I will be her parents no matter what and that she'll still be able to see Stace just as much.  I just need to keep giving her that message.

On the other hand, Lindsey feels secure in her relationship with me.  (At least, I'd like to think so.)  I'm the one who's around her every day.  She knows that she can get upset about the divorce, and even tell me that she's unhappy with me, and I won't freak out.  I just tell her that I'll always love her even if she's mad at me or if she thinks I'm not a good dad.  That usually satisfies her.

(Side note:  have I yet mentioned the sign she made me wear the other day?  She wrote up a sign that said, "Not a good parent" and made me wear it for the evening.  She was unhappy with me for seeing Michelle and for making her move faster when it was bedtime.  I wore the sign for a while, and by the time she went to bed, she relented and told me I didn't need to wear it anymore.  I can put up with stuff like that, and she dishes it out because she knows I won't overreact.)

So, guess what?  Lindsey will be starting up with some counseling visits again.  I'll get some professional help in navigating all of this because I'm just kind of making it up as I go along.

What a strange existence

So, Michelle, my mom, my sisters-in-law, and my nieces (except for the youngest) are getting together at Michelle's place tonight for a girls' night. Am I the only one who thinks that my life just keeps getting stranger and stranger?

My one source of solace is that they've promised not to mention my name at at all tonight.  Not even once.  Mum's the word.  Zippo.  I totally believe them.

More complicated

It turns out that Tanner did a little more damage to his head than we'd realized.  He doesn't remember a good chunk of Friday.  He doesn't remember riding his bike or crashing.  He doesn't remember seeing the doctor.  He doesn't remember talking to me on his way to the urgent care.

He seems fine now, and he's been under some restrictions, so I think he'll be okay.  It's just a weird thought to have forgotten a good chunk of a day.

World, meet Michelle

Okay, so remember how I said in my last post that it was going to be an interesting Labor Day weekend?  There was a little more behind that remark than I let on.  I now have permission to share the rest of the story.  Here's the skinny (as we say in Minnesota):  I've started dating someone.  I'm in Utah right now spending Labor Day weekend with her so that we can get to know each other better.

Michelle is a special education professor at BYU who's known my brother Ryan and his wife Jenny for many years.  We met at a dinner a few weeks ago while the kids and I were in Utah.  Due to some utterly devious behind-the-scenes machinations on the part of certain family members who shall remain nameless, Michelle and I knew a lot about each other before we'd ever met.  We spent some time talking at the dinner that night and then went our separate ways.

I had less than a week left in Utah and wasn't planning on coming back for another year, so the situation had sort of a now-or-never feeling to it.  I did something un-Ethanlike and asked her out.  Because I figured she should see me at my very worst right off the bat, I asked her to help me go shopping for clothes.  That's when I'm the grumpiest.  We went up to the outlet stores at Park City, shopped for shirts, went to dinner, and talked.  (I got five shirts for under $80.  The relationship was already paying dividends!)  There were some jitters on my part since it was my first date with someone new since 1987, but we enjoyed our time together.

To keep the story short, here's a summary of how things have gone up to now:  I told her about the divorce and the things that led to it.  That didn't scare her off.  Puzzled, I told her about my MS and its unpredictable nature.  She still stuck around.  Really flummoxed at this point, I told her about all the people I'd murdered and the struggles I've had controlling my homicidal rage.  She finally put her foot down and said, "Ethan, I realize that you're trying to protect yourself and that you're scared to get into a new relationship, but enough is enough.  I don't believe you've killed nearly as many people as you say you have.  Besides, no one's perfect, and I can live with a few personality quirks."

So there you have it.  I will NOT be blogging in detail about how things are going.  The kids know that I'm dating Michelle.  Lindsey struggled with that a bit because she still hopes that Stace and I will get back together, which is typical for kids her age whose parents have divorced.  Yesterday, though, Lindsey wanted to make sure that I told Michelle about a lost tooth, so I think Lindsey is getting there.

Life is interesting, isn't it?

Thyroids and heart rates and brains, oh my!

Here's a summary of what happened today:  Lindsey's thyroid numbers are so bad that the doctor wanted her to start on medication TODAY.  At the same time, Tanner managed to get himself a minor concussion.

First, Lindsey:  She does indeed have Graves' disease.  One of her thyroid numbers was about four times what it should have been.  She'll start on hyperthyroid medication to control her thyroid.  There's around a 20-30% chance that the medication will solve the problem, although it might take a couple of years.  If that doesn't happen after a while, then they'll either remove or just kill the thyroid, meaning that she'll have to take hypothyroid medication for the rest of her life to compensate.  The hyperthyroid medication can have some nasty side effects, so we'll have to watch her for those.  This is some serious stuff.  The doctor called it "kind of a bad drug."

In the meantime, her pulse and blood pressure are so high that she'll start taking beta blockers to bring those numbers down immediately.  (The thyroid medication takes a couple of weeks to kick in.)  Her pulse today was 140.  For a regular nine-year-old, it should be around 100.  The beta blockers might make her a bit sluggish, which is unfortunate since school starts on Tuesday.  Oh, well.  We'll just have to deal with it.

Meanwhile, Tanner is on a mountain biking trip this weekend and managed to get in a crash that was nasty enough to break his helmet.  He doesn't have any serious injuries, but the doctor has put him under some restrictions for the next few days.  (But he still has to mow the lawn on Monday.)

It's gonna be an interesting Labor Day weekend.

Autoimmune diseases galore

Well, here's an interesting development:  Lindsey most likely has an autoimmune disorder called Graves' disease.  It's a disease of the thyroid.  They're doing a blood test to be sure, but she has several of the classic symptoms:  her eyes are becoming more prominent, her hands are shaky, she loses her hair easily, she eats a ton but never gains weight, and she has a rapid heartbeat.  We're in touch with an endocrinologist.  It's treatable with medication, from what I hear, but it's something she'll have to watch for the rest of her life.

As you may recall, Lindsey's thrilled that I have MS.  Now she and I get to deal with our messed-up immune systems together.  Not quite the bonding experience I was looking for, but it works, right?