Lindsey working it out

To no one's surprise, Lindsey is still trying to make some sense of the world and to figure out where the ground is.  She's been excited for Michelle to come out this week.  They've been texting back and forth, and Lindsey asks me to send pictures of her to Michelle from time to time.  But there's still some underlying nervousness.

We were at swimming lessons yesterday.  Lindsey asked me to take a picture of her in the water and to send it to Michelle, so I did.  On the way home, though, Lindsey suddenly blurted out that she doesn't want Michelle to visit us this week.  Rule Number One of being a parent in a situation like mine is to listen rather than to overreact, so I probed a little deeper.  I gently told her that I didn't really think she felt that way, and I asked her why she was saying that.  Not surprisingly, she said that Michelle was coming here to replace Mom.  I repeated the things that I've told her before and asked her why she felt that way.  Her reply was something like, "You told me that she was coming here to replace Mom."  I reminded her that I've never said any such thing.  She then said, "Well, that's what Tanner told me."  I told her that I knew that Tanner hadn't said anything like that, either.  I again reminded her that she'd still be able to spend time with Mom and that no one was trying to change that or to replace Mom.  That was good enough for Lindsey, because she then told me that she was hungry and wondered when we could eat lunch.  That was that.  A little while later, she asked me to send a picture to Michelle of a cucumber that we had grown in our garden.

That episode was just her nine-year-old way of making sure that I really meant what I'd told her before.  Her world became much less stable six months ago, and she needed reassurance that no one is trying to take away one of her parents.  She'll be just fine.