I knew it!

The National Security Agency has been in the news a lot lately for its extensive tracking of emails, phone calls, and other communications.  Those are good discussions to have.  How much of our privacy do we want to give up in the name of security?

Along those same lines, I've long suspected that the Church has a clandestine program for tracking the movements and activities of the adult single members of the Church to make sure they're staying out of trouble and that they're doing their very best to get married, maybe through electronic devices implanted in our brains or under our skin.  You might think I'm being paranoid, but I got undeniable confirmation of this program yesterday.

As I was leaving the temple yesterday afternoon, a couple of women were partially blocking the path to my car, so I excused myself as I squeezed past them.  After I'd taken a couple of steps, one of them called out, "Are you a single?"  Unsure as to whether she was talking to me, I stopped and looked back at her.  She was probably about my age.  Indeed, she was talking to me.  Holy cow, I thought to myself.  It's true!  I'm emitting some sort of tracking signal that says "singleness," and that woman has some means of reading the signal!  It slowly dawned on me that the session I had attended had been attended by a group of single members.  So I told her that I was single but that I wasn't there with the group of singles.  She told me that they were having a picnic after the session and that I should come.  I thanked her for the invitation but declined.  I'm not ready for something like that right now (if ever).  She said cheerfully, "Okay, but it could be a missed opportunity."  I still passed.

I need to do more research into this program.  I'm not sure at what age tracking beings.  They probably don't track young singles, those thirty years of age and under.  The Church probably doesn't start worrying about you until you get older, like me.  I'm not sure how they implanted the tracking device.  I'm a pretty light sleeper.  They probably got me sometime during my trip to Utah; that would be much easier for them.  I was talking to a single member yesterday and asked her about the tracking program.  She seemed to think that I was being a little over the top, but I don't think so.  You're not paranoid if they really are watching you all the time, right?

Anyway, you certainly aren't going to read anything about this in the Deseret News, but keep an eye on the Salt Lake Tribune.  I'm going to break this thing wide open.

Still there!

I'm fairly ignorant about birds, so I don't know what's going on, but my little nest suddenly has activity again, and the guards are protecting it as aggressively as ever.  I can't see chicks in there, but I was divebombed within about an inch of my face on my porch this morning.  Anyway, it was kind of nice to see something going on again in that nest after I thought it had been abandoned.  I'm just afraid to walk out my front door.

I hope they're still around when Lindsey gets back.  She'd love to see it.

Throwing in the towel

All right, I think my neurologist saw this coming.  I decided to take him up on his offer of a handicapped parking sticker.  I managed to catch a cold this week from Jed and/or Caroline.  It's settled nicely in my chest.  I'm coughing a lot, I haven't slept great, and I'm just overall weak.  By the time I try to make it across the parking lot all the way to the car at the end of the day, my legs aren't in very good shape.  It's worse in the summer heat and humidity, too.  (I did hike a bit around Zion and Bryce just two weeks ago, so it's not like I'm always this bad.)

I'm still only going to use it on days when I think I really need it.   My dilemma is that I'm usually in pretty good shape in the morning.  So either I'll not use the permit and have a long, difficult hike at the end of the day, or I'll use the permit and bound out of the car looking like a perfectly healthy 37-year-old in the morning, attracting resentful stares from those who pass me by on their trek in from the parking lot.  We'll see how this goes.

Wardrobe refresher

At least I accomplished something in Utah:  I got some new shirts.  As I've mentioned before, I hate shopping for clothes.  At the same time, though, I was getting sick of the same tired, old shirts staring me in the face every morning.  The outlet stores in Park City provided some great bargains.  This one is a bit of a departure for me:

I'm not sure how well the purpleness will come through on the average computer screen, but trust me when I tell you that it's quite purple.

It's in the 70s back here in good ol' Minnesota, in contrast to hot (but dry) Utah.  If it can just stay that cool for the state fair later this month, we'll be in good shape.  Right now, I'm not planning to head back to Utah until next summer, but plans can change.  I don't try to chart my life too far in advance these days.

Good times

Well, I'm headed home tomorrow.  It's been a good couple of weeks with the kids.  We had the Wood family reunion last week at Zion National Park, which was a lot of fun.  The scenery down there is amazing.

This week, the kids have had more time to play with cousins from both families.  We've also had fun at concerts.  Wednesday night, the kids and I went to see the band Rush.  Both kids have become fans.  Lindsey and I had seats on the front row.  She got a guitar pick from the band's guitarist, just like Tanner did six years ago when he and I sat in those same seats.  And for probably the first time in recorded history, someone fell asleep on the front row at a Rush concert.  Yes, Lindsey fell asleep in my lap for about the last half hour of the show.  That's hard to imagine given the loudness factor, but she managed.  Anyway, we all had fun. There's a picture on Rush's website that I can't copy, but here's the link.  Can you spot Lindsey on the front rail?  (Hint:  she's shorter than everyone else and has blond hair.)

The next night, Tanner and I headed back up to the same venue to hear Bob Dylan.  I can't say that I've ever been a huge Dylan fan, but it was a festival that featured Dylan and three other acts, and the price was right, so we decided to go for it.  It was a good week.

The kids are now down in California with their cousins for a couple of weeks.  I won't see them until they get back to Minnesota on August 21.

A two-tumble cut

These days, I gauge the state of my legs by counting how many times I fall while mowing the lawn.  I usually fall at least once each time.  My legs get more and more tired, and we have a big lawn, so I'm usually not in very good shape by the end.  I tend to fall because the mower gets ahead of me or I trip over my feet when I'm turning or something like that.

My recent record goes like this:  one fall, two falls, zero falls, zero falls, and two falls (just now).  My legs can be maddeningly random.  Sometimes they're good and sometimes they're not, and I can't really predict what will happen.  There doesn't seem to be any cause and effect.  I do know that they're worse when it's hot, and we're in a pretty steamy run this week.

When I was leaving work today, I could tell that they weren't in good shape.  (This is one of those days when I would have taken advantage of my handicapped parking permit if I'd had one.)  But since I fly out tomorrow, I had to mow the lawn today.  I hoped for the best, but I ended up falling twice.  I always try to arrange it so that I fall on the grass rather than on the pavement.  No harm done.  And when I do fall, I take advantage of the opportunity.  I just sit on the grass for a few minutes while my legs recover.  Not a bad way to go.

Anyway, as I said, I'm heading off to see the kiddies tomorrow.  I'll be there for two weeks.  There probably won't be much blogging since both of my faithful readers (hi, Mom!) will be out there with me.

Lindsey Wood, master gardener

Lindsey and I planted some vegetables before she left.  (Recall that I took the opportunity during one of our gardening sessions to help her understand that I didn't force Stace to move out.  It may have worked somewhat, because Lindsey seems a little more at peace with the whole thing.)

To my astonishment, the dang things are actually growing!  We planted peas, carrots, and cucumbers.  I harvested some of the peas today.  I sent pictures to Tanner so he could show Lindsey what's going on.  Unfortunately, just as some of the peas are appearing, I'm about to leave for two weeks.  Everything will probably go bad while I'm gone.  Oops.