Thanks, Grandma and Grandpa!

We said goodbye to my folks this morning.  It was great having them here.  They did laundry, cooked, cleaned the oven, and even scraped the mold out of the shower in my master bathroom (which I've decided is my very own "man cave").  We were all sad to see them go.

I'm too busy to write more than that for now.  Heck, I'm even two days behind in reading the paper!  Things are fine, though.  I thought this single-parent thing would be a piece of cake, but it actually turns out to be quite a bit of work.  Who knew?

Busy and bumpy

Whew!  It's been a busy Saturday so far.  Grandma and Lindsey made us the best breakfast we've had around here in a long time.  Tanner raced off to do Scouting for Food, and Lindsey and I headed up to Saint Paul for a youth symphony concert.  They had some of the players introduce themselves and talk about their high school experiences.  It was fun for both of us.

At one point, Lindsey asked me how many songs were left.  I hesitantly told her that there were three songs left.  I was worried that she wouldn't be able to last that long.  She surprised me by saying, "That's all?  I want more." I think we can call that a successful excursion.

And then comes a reminder of the downside to all of this.  Those of you who've been reading the blog for a while know that Lindsey expresses herself graphically, usually through drawings with captions to make her point.  For a school project on Thursday, she assembled a ten-page booklet with different drawings and writings.  It was a pretty frank look at what's on her mind.

The front page had the title "Mom Dad."  On one of the pages, she wrote the words "please don't please."  Another page said "I will miss you."  That was followed by a page saying "I know you love but you don't care."  Another page had a heart labeled with the word "me."  The heart was colored in, but it had a jagged, discordant black line running down the middle.  The last page showed a heart divided in half.  One half was labeled "Mom," and the other half was labeled "us."

Yes, that was a tough read.  It reinforces my idea that some of us around here could really use some good counseling, which we'll be doing soon.

Here come Grandma and Grandpa!

My folks are on their way here, planning to arrive tomorrow night.  They'll be here through Tuesday morning, I think.  I probably won't have much to say on the blog for the next few days since my mom is the only one who reads it anyway.  (Just kidding.  I appreciate all three of my faithful readers.)

Their arrival has nothing to do with the recent change in our family situation; in fact, my mom got the news a bit early because she told me last month that they were planning to come out, and I thought I should give her a heads up that things would be a little different from what she was expecting.  The timing is fortunate, though.  It's a good time for the kids to be able to spend some time with their grandparents.  And thankfully, our six inches of snow will be replaced by sunny skies and temperatures in the mid-70s.

I love having a teenager!

Tanner and I were texting after he got home from school today.  He asked me when I'd be home.  When I called later to talk to Lindsey, I also briefly talked to Tanner and let him know how touched I was that he'd missed me so much.  I got this in response (and you have to imagine this in an exasperated, frustrated, weary, fed-up-with-Dad voice):  "Dad, you're not funny!  You're just really annoying."

Jackpot!  Bingo!  Mission accomplished!  No one ever told me that having a fourteen-year-old around the house would be so much fun.

Lindsey's reading test

Well, the teacher reports to me that Lindsey was the first one done, that the teacher told her to go back and review her work, and that after that review, Lindsey was still the first one done.  I have a feeling that's very, very bad.  At least there's plenty of room for improvement when she gets to fourth grade, right?

I'm pleased to report that I remembered her pill today.  The trick is that I don't feed her breakfast on her early-morning child care days, so it's easy for me to forget her pill on those days.  I'll have to do better.  Baby steps . . . .

Uh, still falling short of perfection

Dang!  Today was the state reading competency test for Lindsey's class.  I just realized that I forgot her ADHD medication this morning.  Ugh!  I'm still trying to adjust to the new routine.  Of all the days for me to forget, why did it have to be today?  I sent a note off to her teacher to see how bad things were.  Let's hope it wasn't a complete train wreck.

Four weeks in

It's been four weeks now since we went public with the change in our family status, so I thought I'd give an update.  The general report is that the kids and I are doing just fine.  The three of us have a great time together.  So far, no one has starved to death, lost a body part, or run away from home.  I'd call that a smashing success.  Here are some of the specifics:

From outward appearances, Tanner is completely unfazed.  He was used to Stace having difficulty, and he and I have always done a lot of things together, so life hasn't changed much for him.  I've asked him a few times how he's doing.  He says he's doing fine, but it's tough to get a fourteen-year-old to tell you his innermost thoughts and fears.  He really does seem fine, though.

Lindsey was more affected.  We had some tough and poignant moments in the first few days, but that hasn't happened lately.  She still tells me she wishes that I had moved out instead of Mom, but she doesn't really seem to mean it.  That's just her way of saying that she misses Mom.  She'll probably be traumatized by my failure to know how to do her hair or to coordinate her clothes.  She'll just have to get over it.

Our bishop had the idea that I should take the kids to counseling.  That's probably a good idea.  They seem okay, but he's seen too many instances of adults who were deeply affected by things that happened to them when they were children.  I think I'll take each of them to at least one session.  The kids are NOT thrilled, of course.  Lindsey told me that she's "already over it."  I'm still going to take them.  Tanner, especially, might have some thoughts that he'd only express to someone who's not involved in the situation.

I'm doing fine.  I have to make sure that I never lie down on anything at any time other than bedtime, lest I inadvertently fall asleep, but I'm managing.  During the two months that Stace was gone while we were in Switzerland, the phrase I used with myself was "ruthlessly prioritize," and that phrase still applies.  My priorities are:  1) make sure the kids get food; 2) make sure they get their homework done; 3) make sure they have something clean to wear; 4) make sure they get to wherever they need to be at any given moment; 5) make sure they clean up after themselves and do their daily and weekly cleaning assignments around the house; and 6) make sure we manage to do some scripture study at least most days.  After I take care of all of those things, there's not much time for anything else, like researching my family history, putting the house together from the move, or writing the epic novel that I've always had burning inside of me, but that's okay.  I knew exactly what I was signing up for, and I don't regret it.  Lindsey will graduate from high school in June of 2022, so I'll get a break before too long.

Stace is here on Tuesday and Thursday mornings to get Lindsey out the door and in the evenings when the kids come home.  She makes dinner.  Eventually, we need to get her in a situation where she can have visitation with the kids at her own place, but we're taking it slowly.

To sum up, life is busy but good.  I love spending time with the kids.  It's sort of us against the world, although that's not really true since we're actually getting a lot of help from the world.  We're going to make it.