A glimpse of my future

Ever since the divorce broke, I've been aware that Lindsey and I would be spending several years as a two-person family, but I'd never really pictured it until today.  Tanner's gone to camp until Saturday, and Stace will have Lindsey while I work Thursday and Friday, but other than that, it's the two of us.  It's given me a glimpse of the future.

Do the math:  if all goes well, Tanner will leave on his mission in four years.  Lindsey will start the eighth grade.  We'll have at least those two years alone.  It's possible that Tanner will be back at home after his mission, but it's also possible that he'll go away to school or join the circus or something like that.  When Tanner leaves on his mission, Lindsey will have five more years before the end of high school.  She might even live at home for college.  The two of us are going to have a long time together!  It's a good thing I get along with her despite her psychopathic tendencies.  (I went upstairs a little while ago to make a phone call.  I told her not to burn down the house while I was upstairs.  I was only partly joking.)

Shifting gears, here's what happens over the next several days:  I'll work Thursday and Friday while Stace watches Lindsey.  Tanner gets home on Saturday.  The kids leave for Utah on Monday.  Then, I'm not sure what happens.  I've decided to give myself holidays on Tuesday and Wednesday, meaning that when I get home from work, I won't put pressure on myself to get done all of those things I'm vaguely aware that need to be done.  I'll just give myself a couple of days to waste time.  That thought actually makes me really twitchy and jittery, but I figure I need to relearn how to relax.  And then I'll waste more time on Thursday, which is the Fourth.  But Friday the fifth, I'm going to start getting stuff done.  I don't know what yet.  At least I got through two of my four back issues of The Atlantic while I was at camp.