Right on the nose

The Onion is a satirical news publication that I check out from time to time. There was a timely article that appeared yesterday. I won't link to the website because some of the articles can be a bit raw, but here are a couple of funny excerpts from this one. Keep in mind as you read this that I'm going to Disneyland and going on a cruise within the the next two months. Ouch.

Here's the headline: "U.S. Authorities Can't Really Fault Al-Qaeda For Deadly Bombing Of Carnival Cruise Ship"

Here's the subheading: "'Those Things Represent Everything That's Wrong With America,' Officials Say"

And here are a couple of snippets from the article. They're dead on:

"Terrorism is a crime against humanity for which there can never be any justification," Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano told reporters. "But then again, so is a 130,000-ton boat with an indoor ice skating rink, 24-hour buffet access, and a dance club called the Caliente Lounge. To condemn al-Qaeda outright for this attack would be to ignore the fact that, well, you can't really argue with them on this one."

"Those things are really just atrocious," Napolitano added.

When asked if the CIA had any prior information about the terrorist attack, [CIA Director Leon] Panetta questioned if one could really call the destruction of a horrible thing that offends the very core of what it means to be human "terrorism."

Sources in the State Department said their only problem with the strike was that it wasn't on a Disney cruise ship, which they claimed would have allowed al-Qaeda to kill two birds with one stone.

"Typically I would say that if we don't move on and go about our daily lives, then the terrorists will win," Obama said during a late-day announcement. "But if this stops just one U.S. citizen from booking a 10-day getaway on one of those abominations, then I am happy to cede victory to al-Qaeda on this one. Congratulations, al-Qaeda. And thank you."