Guilty downtime

I took the day off today to take care of the kids.  This afternoon, I had another one of those intervals that always throws me off:  I had a couple of hours to myself while Lindsey was away playing with her friend Chelsea.  I don't get many spare moments, so I never have plans to get anything done.  When I am surprised by a spare moment, I always have this nagging sense that there's something I should be doing.  There's lots that needs to be cleaned, organized, and fixed, but those tasks never make it to the top of my to-do list because I'm always in maintenance mode.

I started to think about what I should be getting done during those two hours this afternoon, but Caroline instructed me just to go relax.  I almost managed to follow her instructions.  I assembled our new grass trimmer and trimmed some grass first, but then I actually did relax.  I made it most of the way through my April issue of The Atlantic.  (Heaven only knows when I'll have time to start on the May and June issues, and I'm sure the July issue is coming soon.)

Lots going on right now.  The kids and I are going to see the Twins play tonight (and I'm none too thrilled about the dark clouds I can see off to the west).  Grandma Dennis gets here tomorrow.  That will take some of the pressure off of me as far as keeping up with the house and fixing decent meals.  I still haven't mastered the art of making well-balanced dinners complete with mutliple vegetables and fruits.  I'll get there.  At least we shouldn't have much trouble finding healthy food at the ball game tonight, right?

Jumpin' and flappin'

If you know Tanner, you know that he expresses his excitement about something by jumping and flapping his arms.  He's not aware that he's doing it; it's just like breathing for him.  When he was a baby, he'd stick his legs straight out.  When he got a little older, he'd express his excitement by extending his hands and wiggling his fingers.  When he grew yet a little older he started flapping his arms, and he hasn't stopped.  We figured he'd stop around the time he was eight or nine, but he's kept right on going.

I was thinking about this today because he was getting in the shower before church.  I always hear the same sequence of sounds when he's getting in the shower:  the door closes, the water turns on, and then there's a series of loud banging noises from the upstairs bathroom.  That's Tanner jumping and flapping while he waits for the water to heat up.  I guess some things just never lose their excitement.  This is the same kid who used to celebrate the flushing of the toilet when he was three or four years old by wiggling his fingers and exclaiming, "Swirly, swirly, swirly swirly!"

I'm so happy I could cry!

Up until now, the happiest moment of my life was the day when Tanner was old enough to obey a request to bring me the remote so that I didn't have to get up to get it myself.  (Okay, I'm exaggerating a little for dramatic effect, but work with me here.)  The second-happiest moment of my life was when I first had a two-car garage and both of my cars were parked therein.  No more scraping the windshield on a bitter winter morning!  Coincidentally, I think that both of those moments occurred in 2001.

Twelve years later, those happy moments have now been topped by the sight outside my window at this very moment:  my fourteen-year-old son is outside mowing my lawn.  My grass is being cut, and I'm not the one cutting it!  It's taken a long time, but I'm now finally realizing that kids really are worth the hassle.

Lindsey's birth parents

We've now gotten very nice notes back from both of Lindsey's birth parents.  I dreaded telling them about the divorce, and I dreaded their responses even more, but they were both very gracious.  They're concerned about Lindsey, of course, but they both said that they don't regret their decision to place her with us.  I was glad to hear that from both of them.  I'll always have a soft spot in my heart for birth parents.

In other news, Lindsey hid in her room Sunday night and declared that she was never again coming out.  She threw herself on her bed and proclaimed it to be a "bed of miserable" (presumably she meant "bed of misery").  She had the usual complaints about feeling like she doesn't have friends at school and feeling like Tanner wasn't being nice to her, wihch is often true.  (I'm working on that.)  Surprisingly, she didn't say much about the divorce.  I'm sure that will all come out in tonight's counseling visit.

I stayed with her on the bed with her for a long time Sunday night until she didn't feel quite so miserable.  But since Monday was her field trip to the Minnesota Zoo, she was quite happy last night.  She said that her bed was now a "bed of happiness."  Talk about emotional whiplash.

I am seriously underqualified to raise a teenage girl, which I'll be doing in less than four years.  Yikes.

She likes me! She really likes me!

Lindsey continues to express mixed feelings toward me, which probably isn't surprising given our circumstances.  This morning, she found a piece of poster board in the shape of an arrow.  In large letters, she wrote the words "Best Dad," walked over to me, and pointed the arrow at me.  Awwwww . . . .  I guess it was Father's Day come early.

On the other hand, in church today, she told me that she hated me because I wouldn't let her lie down on the floor during sacrament meeting.  Baby steps, I guess.

Man, am I tired.  Life will get a little more manageable when Stace's mom gets here next week, and then it will become almost empty when the kids leave on July 1.

You know, just as I wrote that, I realized that I'm not sure if I ever explained our summer plans.  Maybe I did.  I'm too lazy to go back and look.  Stace's mom will be here from June 12 through June 26.  (Yes, like you, I'm struck by the oddity of my soon-to-be-former mother-in-law staying at my house while my soon-to-be-former wife stays elsewhere, but we're all doing our best to hold things together in the midst of the divorce.)  With Stace's mom here, it should be easier for Stace to spend some quality time with the kids while school is out.  Tanner will be at scout camp from the 24th through the 29th, and I'll join him from the 24th through the 26th.  The kids will leave for Utah on July 1.  I'll join them from July 20 through August 3.  They'll come back here on August 21, which is when my parents will also get here.  They'll be able to help watch the kids until school starts the day after Labor Day.  This would all be a lot easier if I had twenty weeks of vacation per year, but no such luck.

I have no idea what we'll do to get through next summer, but I can only think so far ahead right now.

Et tu, Lindsey?

Even Lindsey is now concerning herself with my social life.  While we were in the car today, she talked about how much she misses her friend Emily from Switzerland.  She then told me that I should marry Emily's mom so that she and Emily could be sisters.

I had to remind Lindsey that Emily's parents are married with no sign of an impending divorce as far as I can tell, so marrying Emily's mom doesn't seem like much of an option for me.  Lindsey then informed me that I should at least marry somebody.  She didn't suggest anyone else by name.

When you get divorced, the kids aren't supposed to concern themselves with those kinds of matters, at least according to what I read.  I guess I'll have to make the kids read the divorce manual so they start to behave more like they're supposed to.  Sheesh.

There goes my wittow boy . . . .

It's the ward fathers and sons campout tonight.  Lindsey has a busy day tomorrow, and I didn't want to make her someone else's problem, so I was just going to have Tanner and me skip it.  Other members of the ward offered to keep an eye on Tanner, though, so he went.  I was planning to come home to help him pack, and I was even thinking that Lindsey and I could drive him to the camp, but he wanted nothing to do with any of that.  He packed himself and left with one of the ward members before I even got home from work.  I guess he'll survive one night even if he forgot something important.  Apparently, an overnight camp isn't a big deal for a kid who spent two weeks away from his parents running around Switzerland, and then one week running around Italy, and then one week running around Paris.

In other news, my neurologist offered to approve a handicapped parking permit for me.  I said not only "no," but--well, suffice it to say that I vigorously said "no."  I'm not there yet.  He also crushed my spirit in telling me that I need to avoid jacuzzis.  What??!!????  Yes, after a few minutes in a hot tub, I'm so weak that I can't pull myself out, but I figured any symptoms were transient.  He tells me that the heat can actually cause permanent damage.  I don't believe him.  I think it was Socrates who said, "A life without hot tubs is not a life worth living."  I'll keep it reasonable, but by golly, once in a while, I'm going to jump into jacuzzi.