I have a few miscellaneous thoughts to put out there today--nothing very well organized, and some of them completely unrelated to being a single dad. So, in no particular order:
First, here's an article about the continuing decline of tourism in Egypt. It's killing the Egyptian economy. We actually visited the temple in Luxor that's pictured in the article. (Yes, I knew that 60 tourists were killed in an attack there back in 1997, but I figured the odds of that happening again during our trip there were pretty remote. Turns out I was right. We're not dead.) I still think back on that trip as one of the two best trips we took while we lived in Switzerland. I'm glad that we were able to squeeze in a visit while things were relatively calm. (Norway was my other favorite trip.)
Second, some of you already know this. There's a rock band called Rush that's been around for a long time. They're going to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame later this month, but they're still going strong. Tanner and I have made a habit of catching the occasional Rush concert. We've seen them in Chicago, Saint Paul, Minneapolis, Winnipeg, Denver, and Salt Lake.
In 2007, just before Tanner turned nine, we got front-row seats to a Rush concert in Salt Lake. Tanner and the band's guitarist exchanged goofy faces throughout the show, and the guitarist ended up giving Tanner a guitar pick. It was a fun night. Well, I got those exact same seats for a Rush concert this summer, and in the grand tradition of the Wood boys, Lindsey is now demanding her chance to see Rush. So this time, Lindsey and I will be on the front row. Poor Tanner will have to suffer all the way back on the fifth row. But he's now tall enough that seeing the band won't be a problem for him. We're all pretty excited. (Yes, I'll insist that she wear ear plugs. It would be child abuse not to.)
Third, Stace was around the house most of the day and was in pretty good spirits. She's been giving me tutorials on which drawers contains which of the kids' clothes, and we all had a nice dinner together again.
Fourth, I think Lindsey decided to try to push some boundaries tonight to test how things are going to work around here. Stace left after dinner, and I started in on homework with Lindsey. Lindsey's got some pretty hefty challenges with learning, so her homework takes a long time. It was time for her to go to bed when she was done. She insisted, though, that Mom had said that she could watch TV after she was done with her homework. Now it's possible that Stace actually said that, but I doubt it. At any rate, Lindsey threw a major fit, which was a little out of character. I explained to her that even if Mom said that, we had run out of time and there would be more time tomorrow. I was gentle with her, but I stuck to it, and she went to bed. She wasn't happy. I'll have to compare notes with Stace tomorrow, but even if Stace did actually say that, Lindsey needed to get to bed, and it wasn't worth the ruckus she caused. I try to be tolerant.
Fifth, and finally, I'm sometimes struck by some of the absurdities of my situation. Here's one. I've already shared this thought with some of you, but it still gets me: I HAVE TWO SINKS!!!!!! Yes, I have a nice, big master bathroom, and it has two sinks. What on earth am I supposed to do with two sinks? Use one every other day? I used to torment Stace by waiting to take out my contacts until she was taking out hers. Then I'd tell her how great it was that we had two sinks because taking out our contacts side by side was our "special together time." Knowing Stace, you can imagine the annoyed looks I could successfully get from her each and every time.
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
Monday, April 1, 2013
Ordinary day #1
I mentioned that I wouldn't blog about every routine day. This was the first such day. However, one can argue that, by definition, the first routine day isn't actually a routine day, so I thought I'd give a sense of what a routine day will be like around here.
Beginning next week, I'll take Lindsey to early morning child care at her school on my way to work on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Stace will come to the house in the mornings on Tuesdays and Thursdays to send Lindsey off at her regular time. Lindsey's bus doesn't come until 8:30, which would be too late for me to get to work every day. Stace will also plan on being around on Tuesday and Thursday evenings to help with dinner and homework and to spend time with the kids. School only goes for two more months, so that's what we'll do through the end of the school year.
After laying low over the weekend, Stace was back in the swing of things today, and we were all glad to see her. She came to the house this morning to get Lindsey off to school and then was back tonight to make dinner for us. It was good to have her here.
I should report that so far, the kids seem to be doing just fine. Lindsey hasn't even mentioned the divorce for a couple of days. We have teachers and school couselors keeping an eye on the kids for signs of trouble, but so far, everything seems to be going as well as we could expect. My best description for Tanner is "bemused." He's always had a fairly healthy ability to handle life's curveballs, and he seems to find this one interesting more than anything else. I have to remember that he's only four years away from being out of the house. He's already pretty independent, and this actually hasn't changed his world very much.
[Amusing side note from the other day, which maybe illustrates Tanner's ability to roll with things. The kids were annoying each other as usual, and Tanner was getting so tired of Lindsey that he finally burst out with something to the effect of, "I'm so glad that we're not blood relatives!" Lindsey's response indicated that the feeling was mutual. And then life went on for the Wood family as normal. No one gets too freaked out over things.]
It's interesting to see how much frou-frou you can strip from your life when you need to. Over the past month, my world has shrunk considerably, but it's okay. At the risk of sounding a bit sappy, I'm finding that I enjoy the dumb little things like putting the kids to bed or counting the seconds to make sure that Lindsey brushes her teeth long enough at night. Last night, when I went into her room to check on her before I went to bed, I was adjusting her blankets because she was too hot. She opened her eyes, looked at me, and asked, "Did you make it sparkly?" Then she rolled over and went back to sleep. I'd love to know what she was dreaming about.
Well, this was going to be a very short post, and I haven't even said everything I was thinking of saying. We'll have to call it a night for now.
Beginning next week, I'll take Lindsey to early morning child care at her school on my way to work on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. Stace will come to the house in the mornings on Tuesdays and Thursdays to send Lindsey off at her regular time. Lindsey's bus doesn't come until 8:30, which would be too late for me to get to work every day. Stace will also plan on being around on Tuesday and Thursday evenings to help with dinner and homework and to spend time with the kids. School only goes for two more months, so that's what we'll do through the end of the school year.
After laying low over the weekend, Stace was back in the swing of things today, and we were all glad to see her. She came to the house this morning to get Lindsey off to school and then was back tonight to make dinner for us. It was good to have her here.
I should report that so far, the kids seem to be doing just fine. Lindsey hasn't even mentioned the divorce for a couple of days. We have teachers and school couselors keeping an eye on the kids for signs of trouble, but so far, everything seems to be going as well as we could expect. My best description for Tanner is "bemused." He's always had a fairly healthy ability to handle life's curveballs, and he seems to find this one interesting more than anything else. I have to remember that he's only four years away from being out of the house. He's already pretty independent, and this actually hasn't changed his world very much.
[Amusing side note from the other day, which maybe illustrates Tanner's ability to roll with things. The kids were annoying each other as usual, and Tanner was getting so tired of Lindsey that he finally burst out with something to the effect of, "I'm so glad that we're not blood relatives!" Lindsey's response indicated that the feeling was mutual. And then life went on for the Wood family as normal. No one gets too freaked out over things.]
It's interesting to see how much frou-frou you can strip from your life when you need to. Over the past month, my world has shrunk considerably, but it's okay. At the risk of sounding a bit sappy, I'm finding that I enjoy the dumb little things like putting the kids to bed or counting the seconds to make sure that Lindsey brushes her teeth long enough at night. Last night, when I went into her room to check on her before I went to bed, I was adjusting her blankets because she was too hot. She opened her eyes, looked at me, and asked, "Did you make it sparkly?" Then she rolled over and went back to sleep. I'd love to know what she was dreaming about.
Well, this was going to be a very short post, and I haven't even said everything I was thinking of saying. We'll have to call it a night for now.
Sunday, March 31, 2013
A good Easter
It was a good Easter. The Korths had us over for dinner and egg decorating. In my first major fiasco as a single dad, I failed to properly cook the eggs. How the heck do you screw up hard-boiled eggs????!????? I managed. I guess maybe the water wasn't hot enough when I took the saucepan off. Anyway, they were runny and weren't usable. Oh, well.
The kids found Easter baskets waiting for them this morning, but the contents weren't a huge surprise since Lindsey was with me yesterday at the store and we both picked out the items that they would find in their baskets. She was still absolutely delighted to find an Easter basket on her dresser this morning even though she knew exactly what it would contain. Oh, to be nine again. She hasn't completely given up the idea of the Easter Bunny even though we've told her repeatedly that it's her parents. She's still holding out a little bit of hope that we're lying to her.
The kids found Easter baskets waiting for them this morning, but the contents weren't a huge surprise since Lindsey was with me yesterday at the store and we both picked out the items that they would find in their baskets. She was still absolutely delighted to find an Easter basket on her dresser this morning even though she knew exactly what it would contain. Oh, to be nine again. She hasn't completely given up the idea of the Easter Bunny even though we've told her repeatedly that it's her parents. She's still holding out a little bit of hope that we're lying to her.
Saturday, March 30, 2013
A scary place
I used to say that if there's a hell on earth, it's Chuck E. Cheese on a Saturday afternoon. It takes me about 30 seconds to become completely overwhelmed in that place with about 25 simultaneous birthday parties for kids who average five or six years old. It's enough to drive me batty. I can't stay there for long.
That was until today. My new nominee for hell on earth is the space under Lindsey's bed, at least until we got it cleaned out today. I didn't realize until today that Lindsey is a hoarder, just like those crazy seventy-year-old women who keep hundreds of cats in a 500 square foot home. We started on her room today. She had things in pretty good shape, and then we looked under the bed. Ouch. The density of the junk she's crammed under there in the past seven months was almost high enough to create a black hole right there under her bed. Literally. (Snicker.) The junk under her bed had a gravitational force that was starting to suck in items from other places in her room, including the furniture. At the risk of life and limb, we started to clean it all out. Whew! I think we saved the planet.
Shifting gears, this blog will be mostly lighthearted, but I'm probably going to have to share some of the more poignant moments as we go along. I'm thinking of two.
The first was Sunday night after we'd told the kids. The conversation went well, but it was emotionally wrenching for Stace and me. Lindsey took it harder than Tanner. Later, Stace was upstairs resting, and I was sitting downstairs. Lindsey came downstairs and was sad. She crawled into my lap. I held her, and we cried and talked for about a half hour. I didn't want to let her go. That was probably one of the tougher half hours of my life. But after it was over, things were better, and she's been fine ever since.
The second one starts out poignant but then ends with a classic Lindsey twist. It was today in the car as I was taking her to swimming lessons. School starts again on Monday, and she reluctantly told me that she was worried about telling her teacher about the divorce. I was glad she said something, because I was able to reassure her that it wasn't her job to tell the teacher. In fact, I've already sent an email to the kids' teachers so they can watch for any signs of trouble. Lindsey felt much better after that. I wasn't sure how she got that notion about telling the teacher in the first place, but I got a hint later, and it's classic Lindsey. I asked her why she felt like she had to tell her teacher. She confessed that she hoped that the teacher would feel bad for her and wouldn't give her as much homework. It's nice to see that Lindsey is still Lindsey and still plays the game as well as ever. Some things never change.
That was until today. My new nominee for hell on earth is the space under Lindsey's bed, at least until we got it cleaned out today. I didn't realize until today that Lindsey is a hoarder, just like those crazy seventy-year-old women who keep hundreds of cats in a 500 square foot home. We started on her room today. She had things in pretty good shape, and then we looked under the bed. Ouch. The density of the junk she's crammed under there in the past seven months was almost high enough to create a black hole right there under her bed. Literally. (Snicker.) The junk under her bed had a gravitational force that was starting to suck in items from other places in her room, including the furniture. At the risk of life and limb, we started to clean it all out. Whew! I think we saved the planet.
Shifting gears, this blog will be mostly lighthearted, but I'm probably going to have to share some of the more poignant moments as we go along. I'm thinking of two.
The first was Sunday night after we'd told the kids. The conversation went well, but it was emotionally wrenching for Stace and me. Lindsey took it harder than Tanner. Later, Stace was upstairs resting, and I was sitting downstairs. Lindsey came downstairs and was sad. She crawled into my lap. I held her, and we cried and talked for about a half hour. I didn't want to let her go. That was probably one of the tougher half hours of my life. But after it was over, things were better, and she's been fine ever since.
The second one starts out poignant but then ends with a classic Lindsey twist. It was today in the car as I was taking her to swimming lessons. School starts again on Monday, and she reluctantly told me that she was worried about telling her teacher about the divorce. I was glad she said something, because I was able to reassure her that it wasn't her job to tell the teacher. In fact, I've already sent an email to the kids' teachers so they can watch for any signs of trouble. Lindsey felt much better after that. I wasn't sure how she got that notion about telling the teacher in the first place, but I got a hint later, and it's classic Lindsey. I asked her why she felt like she had to tell her teacher. She confessed that she hoped that the teacher would feel bad for her and wouldn't give her as much homework. It's nice to see that Lindsey is still Lindsey and still plays the game as well as ever. Some things never change.
Friday, March 29, 2013
Still plugging along
Not much to report today. I'm not going to post every day, but I figured that in this early stage, silence might be taken as a sign of trouble. No, it's nothing like that. Everything's fine. Stace and I had taken a break for a couple of days, but she was back here tonight making dinner and taking care of some laundry for us. That was nice. And the snow is finally melting around here. Sheesh. It feels like winter dragged on forever, but spring is finally here.
Thursday, March 28, 2013
A surreal, successful day
There's a reason I'm not on Facebook: I'm just not that interested in the minutiae of everyone's lives, and I assume that no one's particularly interested the minutiae of mine. Given the success of Facebook, I guess most people don't agree with me, but I'm sticking to my guns.
Most days around here will go something like this: I got up, sent the kids off to school, went to work, came home from work, had dinner, helped the kids with homework, and went to bed. I promise not to inflict that on all of you. The average day around here won't be sufficiently interesting to warrant a comment. However, since we're all still adjusting, and since I'm taking a few days off, I'll give you a quick report.
The surreal part was shopping for my clothes with the kids. You see, the last time I shopped for my own clothes was--well, never. I pretty much went directly from my mom doing my shopping to Stace doing my shopping. I hate shopping for clothes. I don't care how I look. The only reason I care about clothes is that society has a fairly strong expectation that I won't run around naked, and I feel obliged to comply. (You're welcome, society.) However, since a big hole decided to appear in the knee of my jeans the other day, I was desperate. I took the kids so I could get their opinions. It was weird. For some reason, I felt like one of those TV sitcom single moms who engages in witty banter back and forth with the impossibly precocious kids while an artifically enthusiastic laugh track runs in the background. But at least I got some new jeans.
The successful part was dinner. Tanner found a recipe for a dish with the underwhelming name of "meat and pasta bake." It had a label that said "easy," though, so we went for it. It was a group effort. We figured out what we had around the house and went to the grocery store for the rest. Lindsey put together a list of ingredients for a fruit salad, and other than the chopping and cutting, she made it herself. Tanner and I tackled the main dish. I carelessly scalded two of my fingers, but it was otherwise a smashing success. The kids proclaimed it to be delicious, and the three of us ate almost the entire casserole dish. Tanner initially proposed that we rename it "divorce dinner," but we quickly decided that was a bit dark, so we'll find another name.
Overall, single parenting isn't so bad as long as you never have to go to work. Unfortunately, Monday is coming, but we'll figure it out.
Most days around here will go something like this: I got up, sent the kids off to school, went to work, came home from work, had dinner, helped the kids with homework, and went to bed. I promise not to inflict that on all of you. The average day around here won't be sufficiently interesting to warrant a comment. However, since we're all still adjusting, and since I'm taking a few days off, I'll give you a quick report.
The surreal part was shopping for my clothes with the kids. You see, the last time I shopped for my own clothes was--well, never. I pretty much went directly from my mom doing my shopping to Stace doing my shopping. I hate shopping for clothes. I don't care how I look. The only reason I care about clothes is that society has a fairly strong expectation that I won't run around naked, and I feel obliged to comply. (You're welcome, society.) However, since a big hole decided to appear in the knee of my jeans the other day, I was desperate. I took the kids so I could get their opinions. It was weird. For some reason, I felt like one of those TV sitcom single moms who engages in witty banter back and forth with the impossibly precocious kids while an artifically enthusiastic laugh track runs in the background. But at least I got some new jeans.
The successful part was dinner. Tanner found a recipe for a dish with the underwhelming name of "meat and pasta bake." It had a label that said "easy," though, so we went for it. It was a group effort. We figured out what we had around the house and went to the grocery store for the rest. Lindsey put together a list of ingredients for a fruit salad, and other than the chopping and cutting, she made it herself. Tanner and I tackled the main dish. I carelessly scalded two of my fingers, but it was otherwise a smashing success. The kids proclaimed it to be delicious, and the three of us ate almost the entire casserole dish. Tanner initially proposed that we rename it "divorce dinner," but we quickly decided that was a bit dark, so we'll find another name.
Overall, single parenting isn't so bad as long as you never have to go to work. Unfortunately, Monday is coming, but we'll figure it out.
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
And, we're back
Wow! What happened there? I must have dozed off, and suddenly, it's seven months later.
I'll bring you all up to speed with some news that's a bit tough to deliver, and then I'll get on with the new purpose of the blog. The sad news is this: Stace and I are divorcing. It was a good run for 23 years, but we had many challenges during those years, and we were too human to make it work in the end. We'll have joint legal custody, meaning that we both have authority to make decisions for the kids, and I'll have sole physical custody. Stace is in a small furnished studio apartment right now, and while she's there, she can visit the house whenever she wants. We'll get her set up in something more permanent so that the kids can visit her on occasion. We're both still going to be very much a part of the kids' lives. Things are very amicable: there's no bitterness or arguing. We're negotiating everything. No one has to pick sides. (But if you do want to pick sides, you can join my side by sending me a check for $100.)
Okay, with that out of the way, let's get on with the new purpose of the blog. I was driving home thinking about all the new adventures I have ahead of me. I was somewhat amused by the thought of all the mistakes I'm about to make as a single dad. I thought to myself, "Well, if I think my mistakes will be amusing, maybe everyone else will think they're amusing, too." So you can think of this blog now as "Adventures of a single dad," or maybe even "Misadventures of a single dad," although I'm going to stick with the original Woods in Switzerland name. My purpose is to lay it all out there so that you can laugh at me as I mess up. Now, I realize that I probably only have one reader left (hi, Mom!), but as always, the blog is more for me than for anybody else, so I don't care if anyone ever reads it. It's a good outlet for me. It's not going to be about divorce or any of that; it's going to be about my experiences as a clueless single father.
I haven't had the chance to make any huge mistakes yet, but I'm sure they're coming. In fact, the first one may come tomorrow, because I've decided that dinner will be a collaborative venture between the kids and me. I'm taking a couple of days off for spring break. We're going to pick a recipe from somewhere, find or buy the ingredients we need to make it, and then make it together. I have no doubt that disaster will ensue. At least there's a McDonald's not too far away as a backup.
Other random observations: I'm really scared of Lindsey's hair. I never had a sister, and I know nothing about how to take care of a girl's hair. Truly. I hope she can somehow survive. At least it's shorter than it used to be. Maybe I'll just cut it really short and then never worry about it again. Also, I have no idea how to dress her. This is going to get ugly.
One of my favorite times with the kids is putting them to bed. I'll share a little secret, but no one can ever tell Tanner or it will be ruined forever. Even though Tanner is almost 15 years old and is threatening to reach or exceed my height before too long, I still put him to bed every night. He crawls in bed and then waits for me to turn out his light, tell him good night, and close his door. I didn't do that intentionally. It's just that I started putting him down when he was a baby, and somewhere along the line, we both forgot to stop. I hope it goes a while longer. If anyone ever points out to him that this is unusual, I'm sure he'll put an end to it, so that must never happen.
That's probably enough for a first entry. I'll report on dinner tomorrow night. In the meantime, feel free to send any parenting tips my way. I could use them. Also, does anyone want any decorative pillows?
I'll bring you all up to speed with some news that's a bit tough to deliver, and then I'll get on with the new purpose of the blog. The sad news is this: Stace and I are divorcing. It was a good run for 23 years, but we had many challenges during those years, and we were too human to make it work in the end. We'll have joint legal custody, meaning that we both have authority to make decisions for the kids, and I'll have sole physical custody. Stace is in a small furnished studio apartment right now, and while she's there, she can visit the house whenever she wants. We'll get her set up in something more permanent so that the kids can visit her on occasion. We're both still going to be very much a part of the kids' lives. Things are very amicable: there's no bitterness or arguing. We're negotiating everything. No one has to pick sides. (But if you do want to pick sides, you can join my side by sending me a check for $100.)
Okay, with that out of the way, let's get on with the new purpose of the blog. I was driving home thinking about all the new adventures I have ahead of me. I was somewhat amused by the thought of all the mistakes I'm about to make as a single dad. I thought to myself, "Well, if I think my mistakes will be amusing, maybe everyone else will think they're amusing, too." So you can think of this blog now as "Adventures of a single dad," or maybe even "Misadventures of a single dad," although I'm going to stick with the original Woods in Switzerland name. My purpose is to lay it all out there so that you can laugh at me as I mess up. Now, I realize that I probably only have one reader left (hi, Mom!), but as always, the blog is more for me than for anybody else, so I don't care if anyone ever reads it. It's a good outlet for me. It's not going to be about divorce or any of that; it's going to be about my experiences as a clueless single father.
I haven't had the chance to make any huge mistakes yet, but I'm sure they're coming. In fact, the first one may come tomorrow, because I've decided that dinner will be a collaborative venture between the kids and me. I'm taking a couple of days off for spring break. We're going to pick a recipe from somewhere, find or buy the ingredients we need to make it, and then make it together. I have no doubt that disaster will ensue. At least there's a McDonald's not too far away as a backup.
Other random observations: I'm really scared of Lindsey's hair. I never had a sister, and I know nothing about how to take care of a girl's hair. Truly. I hope she can somehow survive. At least it's shorter than it used to be. Maybe I'll just cut it really short and then never worry about it again. Also, I have no idea how to dress her. This is going to get ugly.
One of my favorite times with the kids is putting them to bed. I'll share a little secret, but no one can ever tell Tanner or it will be ruined forever. Even though Tanner is almost 15 years old and is threatening to reach or exceed my height before too long, I still put him to bed every night. He crawls in bed and then waits for me to turn out his light, tell him good night, and close his door. I didn't do that intentionally. It's just that I started putting him down when he was a baby, and somewhere along the line, we both forgot to stop. I hope it goes a while longer. If anyone ever points out to him that this is unusual, I'm sure he'll put an end to it, so that must never happen.
That's probably enough for a first entry. I'll report on dinner tomorrow night. In the meantime, feel free to send any parenting tips my way. I could use them. Also, does anyone want any decorative pillows?
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